Tullian Tchividjian writes this:
Are you tired of being told that if you’re really serious about God, you must be in an “accountability group?” You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones where you and a small group of “friends” arrange for a time each week to get together and pick each other apart–uncovering layer after layer after layer of sin? The ones where all parties involved believe that the guiltier we feel the more holy we are? The ones where you confess your sin to your friends but it’s never enough? No matter what you unveil, they’re always looking for you to uncover something deeper, darker, and more embarrassing than what you’ve fessed up to. It’s usually done with such persistent invasion that you get the feeling they’re desperately looking for something in you that will make them feel better about themselves.
Well, I hate those groups!
…The reason I hate the kind of “accountability groups” described above is because the primary (almost exclusive, in my experience) focus is always on our sin, not on our Savior. Because of this, these groups breed self-righteousness, guilt, and the almost irresistible temptation to pretend–to be less than honest. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in “accountability groups” where there has been little to no attention given to the gospel whatsoever. There’s no reminder of what Christ has done for our sin–”cleansing us from its guilt and power”–and the resources that are already ours by virtue of our union with him. These groups produce a “do more, try harder” moralism that robs us of the joy and freedom Jesus paid dearly to secure for us. They start with the narcissistic presupposition that Christianity is all about cleaning up and getting better–it’s all about personal improvement.
I know what he’s talking about. I’ve also been in too many groups that fall into the rut of performance-driven legalism on one side (“Throw a dollar in the jar for every day you didn’t study your Bible”) or mutual-self-justification on the other (“We all struggled with lust this week, so we must all be OK”). Very rarely do people talk about what Christ has already done on the cross, and how his Spirit-empowered gospel will bear continual fruit by radically transforming our lives.
But that doesn’t mean we should just give up the whole idea. Romans 8:29 says God’s purpose is to conform us to the image of his son, and one way that happens is when we ” stir up one another to love and good works” (Heb 10:24). By “speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ” (Eph 4:15).
Tchividian says the main truth that needs to be spoken is that “Christian growth… does not happen first by behaving better, but believing better–believing in bigger, deeper, brighter ways what Christ has already secured for sinners. I need my family and friends to remind me of this all the time.”
The problem is that we don’t usually notice our unbiblical beliefs until they have manifested into unbiblical behavior. And we don’t notice many of our unbiblical behaviors until someone else points them out to us. That’s why we need to keep meeting with each other to sharpen each other, just with a different strategy than what we’ve pursued in the past.
In his book Fight Clubs, Jonathan Dodson observes the many biblical passages that talk about the Christian life as a fight: “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called” (1 Tim 6:12). He calls us to fight together in “fight clubs”, and says there are three rules of fight clubs:
- Know Your Sin. We must become well acquainted with the areas in our lives where the flesh gets the best of us, where we are prone to sin. Ask yourself why are you inclined to these sins? What do you believe they will do for you? Provide acceptance, satisfaction, self-worth, significance?
- Fight Your Sin. Many of us have been lulled into thinking that sin is really no big deal, that Jesus paid for it at the cross and therefore we are home free. But John Owen reminds us of the relentless foe we face when he writes: “Be killing sin lest it be killing you.” It’s not about morbid introspection. It’s a fight for true joy, lasting happiness, for life.
- Trust Your Savior. We fight, now in our own strength but with the strength of the Spirit. Romans 8:13: “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” The Spirit inclines your heart to believe, not the promises of the flesh, but the promises of God.
Let’s ditch the “sin-jars” and the cheap grace, and start fighting together!