Everyone around you can tell you whether you’re a complainer or not, but in case they haven’t, here’s an easy test (based on the complaining Israelites in Exodus 16).
1. Complainers will always find something to complain about.
When they’re at Disneyland, they’ll complain about the long lines. When they’re on a cruise ship, they’ll complain about the small shower. There’s always something to whine about.
The Israelites grumbled before they even knew what they were grumbling about! Exodus says that the whole congregation grumbled, and then they figured out what they wanted to grumble about: “We’re hungry!”
2. Complainers turn wants into needs.
The Israelites weren’t starving when they demanded food. They had cows and goats. Which means they could drink milk, and make cheese, and they could even eat meat if they wanted to. They weren’t running out of food. They just want someone else to give them food. In fact, it says in Psalm 78 they were craving food. Not that they were starving. Not that they needed food. They were just craving different food than what they had.
Complainers are never satisfied with what God’s given them. They want something different, or something more, and then they convince themselves that it’s a need, not a desire. A month ago, I drove a rental car with a backup camera for a week. When I got back home and got in my own car, it was like, “How am I supposed to back up? I have to physically turn my head around to look? I can’t do that! I need a new car!” Complainers like me turn wants into needs.
3. Complainers have bad imaginations.
They can’t imagine things ever getting much better. Do you remember what God promised to the Israelites? A land flowing with milk and honey? Which means a land oozing with all the best stuff you could ever have. But the Israelites just couldn’t imagine that. Instead, they were looking back at the slave-food they ate in Egypt. And their memories were pretty clouded! That’s because…
4. Complainers have conveniently bad memories.
The Israelites said, “In Egypt, we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full!” It was an all-you-can-eat buffet! Sushi bars and mounds of crab legs and a prime rib carving station! And chocolate fountains!
That’s how they were remembering the way things were when they were slaves in Egypt, but is that really the way it was? In Exodus 5, it says Pharaoh forced them to make bricks, but he took away one of the necessary components of bricks: straw. Which means he didn’t really want the bricks, he just wanted the Israelites to suffer. So it’s not like he was about to cater seven-course dinners for them every night. They probably ate the vegetables they could grow in their backyard, and that was it. But they wanted to complain, so they were conveniently forgetting that.
5. Complainers look for the nearest target.
Exodus says the Israelites “grumbled against Moses.” As if he’s the one who parted the Red Sea, and now he was holding out on giving the Israelites what they wanted. They were taking it all out on Moses, but it was obvious who they’re really grumbling about. Moses told them they were really complaining to God himself: “The Lord has heard your grumbling that you grumble against him—what are we? Your grumbling is not against us but against the Lord.”
That’s why one scholar wrote, “God always takes our complaints personally, because when we grumble about our personal circumstances, our spiritual leaders, or anything else, what we are really doing is finding fault with him. We are complaining about what he has provided (or not provided, as the case may be). A complaining spirit always indicates a problem in our relationship with God.”
So how does God overcome the grumbling of complainers (like us)? He blesses them! “I have heard the grumbling of the people of Israel. Say to them, ‘At twilight you shall eat meat, and in the morning you shall be filled with bread. Then you shall know that I am the Lord your God.’”