As the great theologian Wesley said in The Princess Bride, “Life is pain. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.”
We all get hurt. All the time. In big and small ways. Maybe someone said something you didn’t like. Maybe it wasn’t really even directed at you. It was just an offhand comment about something, and you took it as an attack. An attack on the way you spend your money, or the way you spend your time, or the way you raise your kids.
Since then, whenever you see that person or think about that person, there’s this knot that forms in the pit of your stomach. You’re holding onto a grudge. And now, whatever they do, you always assume they’re doing it against you. No matter what they do, you just can’t release your resentment.
That’s the kind of scenario Jesus had in mind when he told the story of a servant who somehow racked up a debt of ten thousand talents with his master. In today’s money, that would be $4 billion dollars. It’s an immeasurable amount. A debt that can never be repaid.
We’ve Been Forgiven
This is a symbol of the immeasurable debt we’ve incurred with our master, since we rebelled against God. And in the story, when the servant begs the master for leniency, his master absorbs the enormous debt himself and lets his servant go free. Just like God absorbed the enormous debt of our sin through the sacrifice of his one and only son.
The problem is that we so easily forget that. In the story, Jesus says, “When that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’” (Matthew 6:28).
This servant is on his way out from the courtroom. He’s just been forgiven $4,000,000,000 (notice the nine zeroes). He sees his friend who owes him $250 (one zero) and hasn’t paid him back. And what does he do? He goes completely postal on him.
This is a fellow servant. Someone who serves the same king. So Jesus is really talking about two Christians. These are people who should be brothers!
Jesus says, “His fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.” (Matt 6:29-30).
Maybe in your relationship, you’ve acted similarly. You’ve put the other person in a relational prison. You just don’t talk to them much anymore. You put them in solitary confinement.
You’re not quite reflecting the kind of mercy you received from God, so Jesus says, “When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’” (Matt 6:31-33).
We Can Forgive
Think about that. The king’s not saying, “You should have let the guy try to pay back what he owed you before you put him in prison.” He’s saying, “You should have done exactly what I did for you! You should have been willing to absorb the debt, just like I did.”
God’s saying to us, “You should be ready to absorb the cost of other people’s sin. Because that’s exactly what I did for you on the cross.”
That’s why Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
In other words, help me to see the enormity of my sin. Help me to see the consequences of my sin. Help me to see the enormity of your forgiveness. And help me to reflect the enormity of your forgiveness
When we struggle to forgive, our prayer needs to be, “Father, I want to forgive like you forgive! I want to let go of this grudge the way you let go of your grudge.”
The Freedom of Forgiveness
Do you know how freeing that kind of forgiveness is? Totally liberating!
When I hold on to something that someone did to me or said to me, it’s such a weight on my soul. It’s painful and heavy. It keeps tripping me up. But when I let go of that grudge, my soul is free!
Forgiveness is one of the most life-giving things we can ever experience. But if we don’t forgive, here’s what we can expect: “In anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matt 6:34-35)
Notice that the king delivered him to the jailer, not the slavemaster. Slavery is permanent. Jail is temporary. This isn’t the punishment of hell, this is the discipline of the father.
When We Don’t Forgive
Jesus is saying that when you hold on to unforgiveness, God will put you in time out. He’ll confine you. Hem you in. Make your life a little more difficult.
Maybe lately you’ve found yourself wondering why your life is so hard. Why things just aren’t going well for you right now.
Maybe you need to look at your heart and see if there’s any unforgiveness. Maybe you didn’t even realize it was there. But God will put pressure on you until your heart turns around. Until you’re ready to forgive.
Because he knows that when you’re ready to forgive other people, it’s a sign that you’re living in the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. That’s where you’ll experience life to the full: seeing the enormity of your sin, and the enormity of his grace, and reflecting that grace to the people around you.