Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. (Psalms 139:23-24)
David prayed this immediately after he said, “God, if only you would kill the wicked” (v 19). As we’ve seen in the Psalms, David was in the habit of throwing unfiltered thoughts and feelings at God, then asking God to sort out the mess inside his heart. Many Christians think we need to clean ourselves up before we go to God: “He’s the Ruler of the Universe! We should address him with respect and honor, right?” Absolutely right. But who’s going to get you to the place where you can do that? Only He can, through his Holy Spirit.
As Paul says, “The Spirit himself intercedes for us with inexpressible groanings. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because he intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:26-27). The Spirit is constantly searching your heart, digging out the things you would say if only you could put them into words. He’s taking your groanings and croakings, and communicating them to the heavenly Father through Christ, in a perfectly understandable way. Even if you don’t understand them, he understands them.
So if you’re a mess, go to God. If you’re sad and apathetic, go to God. If you’re angry at someone, go to God. If you’re angry at God, go to God. Be open about your weakness and weariness, and he’ll use the Holy Spirit to change your heart.