I was talking to a college student a few years ago, and he was telling me about how he loved going to the new Starbucks in Aina Haina, because it had just opened and nobody knew about it yet. When he went there to study, he could always find an open table. Not like the Kahala Starbucks where he went before. There, you need to have the reflexes of a ninja to pounce on people just when they’re getting ready to get up from their table, but haven’t quite gotten up yet.

This guy had a Starbucks all to himself for a week, but then the word got out. He went one day and it was completely packed. He couldn’t get a table by himself, so he had to go sit at the big communal table. The one with the power strip in the middle, and 8 people crowded around it. He was so annoyed. Exasperated, he said to me: “You don’t go to Starbucks to be around people.”

I just looked at him. “You don’t go to Starbucks to be around people? Seriously? If you don’t want to be around people, stay in your room! Go to the library and find a study cubicle!” He said, “No, no, no. I want to have people in my vicinity, I just don’t want them all up in my grill.”

That’s when it hit me. That’s exactly how most of us approach relationships. In all of life, not just at Starbucks. We want people in our vicinity, but not all up in our grill.

We want to be around family, but we don’t want them putting too many expectations on us. We want Facebook friends and Instagram friends to like our posts, but we don’t want them all up in our grill about the choices we make. “I’ll just hit ignore on that guy.” We want to come to church, and be around people who worship God the same way we do, but we don’t want to get too personal. We don’t want to share anything that would make another person say, “Can I pray for you?” …  “Oh no! Run away! Run away!”

We’re more in love with the idea of relationships than we are with relationships themselves. We all want Starbucks relationships.

But the New Testament gives us a picture of relationships that’s very different. We’re not a bunch of random people who are kinda hanging out kinda close to each other at Starbucks. We’re a bunch of beggars hanging out in a back alley. Some of us have heard about this five-star restaurant down the street, where the chef slips his best dishes out the back door every night. Plate after plate of food. It’s amazing! There’s enough for everyone.

But there’s only one place to get this amazing food, so we keep seeing the same people over and over again. We start talking to each other, forming relationships. Pretty soon, we’re looking out for each other. If one guy’s too sick to make it over to the restaurant, then one of us takes an extra plate and brings it over to that guy’s tent.

And pretty soon, we realize there’s just too much food coming out that back door every night. Just sitting there. We can’t eat it all ourselves, and we can’t stand the thought of this incredible food going to waste. So we start going out and finding more beggars to come share it with us. We just can’t help ourselves — we’re drawn together by this chef. Look at how it happens:

• Christ is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created … And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (Col 1:15-16). He’s the master chef who cooked up the universe.
• In Christ the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, 10 and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. (Col 2:9-10) This chef’s food is good, and it’s filling! His grace has supplied you with everything you need.
• Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other. … And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Col 3:12-14). His grace has drawn you into relationships with other people that are characterized by love and grace.
• Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Col 4:5-6). There’s so much of God’s grace that you just can’t stop yourself from sharing it with more and more people.

There’s a great story in the Bible of how God’s grace brings people together into loving relationships and heals broken relationships: the book of Ruth. Starting this Sunday we’ll be exploring this story in a new series called Unrelenting Love. We’ll see how God’s love toward us produces loving marriages, families, and friendships. Invite a friend to join us!