Everybody knows that the Bible forbids things like adultery, premarital sex, and lust, but many people are surprised to find out that God has some very good reasons why we should pursue intimacy only with our husband or wife. Proverbs lists three very practical, real-life consequences that come with sexual immorality.
When you’re in the process of falling into this kind of temptation, you never think about the consequences. Proverbs says of sexual sin, “Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it.” (Prov. 5:5-6). She does not ponder the path of life. She’s not thinking about tomorrow. Only right now. Let’s just live in the moment, baby. Don’t worry about what might happen. Focus on what we have right now.
But the plain truth is that when you take fire out of the fireplace, someone is likely to get burned. There will be…
1. Pain and Death
“For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.” (Prov. 5:4).
Temptation always looks like honey. It looks so, so sweet. But it isn’t real honey. It leaves a bitter aftertaste. Also, it’s sharper than any two-edged sword, which means you can’t grab hold of it without getting hurt. There are no safe edges on this thing. You will be injured. “Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol.”
A few years ago, pastor Randy Alcorn decided to put together a list of the potential consequences of sexual immorality for him personally. He sat down and thought about what exactly what would happen to him, his wife, his kids, his church if he gave in to it. The list was heart-wrenching.
“Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.” (Prov. 6:27-29). I’ve talked to many people who’ve played with fire in this area, and never once has someone said, “That was the best decision I ever made in my life.” Every one of them got burned, or came to realize that they had burned someone else. As Proverbs says, pain and death are real consequences for sexual sin. Death of families. Death of relationships. Death of innocence. Even death of spirituality, as Proverbs warns in the second consequence of immorality:
2. Separation from God
“And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, (Prov. 5:7-8).
This is the voice of God speaking in this Proverb and he’s saying, “If you move away from my design for intimacy, you’re moving away from me. If you go to her, then you’re departing from me. Many people don’t understand that. You tell yourself you can go have your fun for a while, and then come back to God when you’re ready, and everything will be just the same as it was before. But it just doesn’t work that way!
Martyn Lloyd Jones said, “Be careful how you treat God, my friends. You may say to yourself, “I can sin against God and then, of course, I can repent and go back and find God whenever I want him.”You try it. And you will sometimes find that not only can you not find God but that you do not even want to. You will be aware of a terrible hardness in your heart. And you can do nothing about it.”
3. A Ruined Life
“Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed.” (Prov. 5:8-11)
There are so many real-life costs that people just don’t think about when they’re giving in to this kind of temptation. If you’re married, and you want to keep your marriage, then you’re probably going to have to spend a lot of time and money covering up what you’ve done. Your labors will go to the house of a foreigner.
Once your spouse finds out (and they almost always find out), things will get ugly. I once counseled a couple after the husband found out his wife was having an affair. They found themselves running around the neighborhood in their underwear, screaming at each other in front of all the neighbors. You will give your honor to others.
Then you might have to spend a lot of time and money on lawsuits and custody battles and alimony. Strangers will take their fill of your strength.
Then your friends and family will be forced to to take sides between you and your spouse, and you’ll never know who’s really on your side. At the end of your life you groan.
If you’re single, and you give in to this temptation, things will play out differently, but there will be groaning and pain. You can’t hold fire against your chest without getting burned.
The Promise of Redemption
Praise God, that’s not where the story ends. There is a road to healing and redemption, and that path is the path of humility. It’s to admit your sin and brokenness: “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.” (Prov. 5:12-14).
When we come to God with that kind of humility – admitting that we’re at the brink of utter ruin – then God will graciously and lovingly bring us back to wholeness. When the prodigal son ran back to his father after he spent all his dad’s money on sex, drugs, and rock and roll, his dad didn’t condemn him when he came back. He ran out and gave him a bear hug.
It doesn’t matter what kind of a mess you’ve made, your father is ready to embrace you. If you’ll come to him humbly through Jesus. Then, God will give you a brand new life. He’ll take away your shame, and give back the purity you’ve lost.
“You, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.” (Col. 2:13-14)