Ever since God created us and said, “It is not good that man should be alone,” we’ve instinctively felt a need to be around other people. We want community, but we’re fallen, so there are some things we do and think that kill the very kind of community we’re seeking.
John, who was known as “the disciple Jesus loved,” experienced intense community with the Son of God. So he gained unique insights into the kinds of things that disrupt community, maybe even by searching his own heart. In 1 John 3, he gives us three community-killers:
1. Bitterness
For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. (1 John 3:11-12)
Murder is literally a community-killer, but John is only using the example of murder so he can dig down to see what might be going on in someone’s heart that would lead them to murder: “Why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous.” Cain was jealous and bitter of his brother. He knew that his brother was more spiritual, and holy, and mature than he was, and he resented that fact.
The Bible says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice,” but that’s so difficult for us to do. If you’re struggling to get pregnant, and somebody in your community group gets pregnant, your first reaction isn’t going to be rejoicing. It’s going to be bitterness. If you’re struggling to make ends meet, and living in some old, dirty, run-down apartment, when somebody in your community group tells you that they just bought a nice new 5-bedroom house on the water, what will your first reaction be? “Must be nice!” That’s bitterness.
2. Selfishness
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? (1 John 3:16-17).
Now John’s talking to the guy who just bought that nice new 5-bedroom house on the water. He drops $10,000 on furniture for his new place, and then he hears somebody at church share that they’re having trouble making rent. And his heart isn’t moved a centimeter. He just nods and says, “Man, that’s tough. I’ll be praying.” John has a question for him: “How does God’s love abide in you?”
The way we know God’s love is that he laid down his life for us, and so the way we naturally radiate that love is to lay down our own lives for the people around us. How do we lay down our lives?
John’s example is laying down our possessions. We know that everything that’s ours, isn’t really ours. God owns everything, and he’s just made us temporary managers. The job of a manager is to carry out the wishes of the owner. If God’s the owner of all our stuff, and God is love, then his love will be expressed in the way he shares his stuff. So as the managers of his stuff, we lay down our possessions.
But let’s go further than that. Laying down our lives also means laying down our time. In the Bible, there’s no such thing as “me-time.” There’s God-time, and there’s others-time. God gave us two great commandments — love God, and love your neighbor — and those are two goals we want to pursue every moment of our lives. Do you know what happens in the Bible when people take me-time? David and Bathsheba. Laying down our lives means laying down our time.
It also means laying down our personal preferences. That’s the true mark of love. Jesus said the world will know that we are his disciples when we love one another, but that’s not going to happen if we love people who are just like us. Everybody loves people who are just like they are: people who look like them, think like them, live like them, and talk like them. People who eat the same food as them, and listen to the same music as them. There’s nothing distinctive about loving people like that.
What makes the world turn their heads is when they see us loving people who are totally different than we are. Different skin color, cultural background, and socioeconomic status. Different interests, tastes and hobbies. In order for that to happen, we’ve gotta give up some of our personal preferences and culturally-influenced beliefs.
We live in the most ethnically diverse state in the nation, but when you go down to Ala Moana Beach Park, you see clumps of people who are mostly the same ethnic background, mostly the same socioeconomic status, mostly the same interests and pursuits. Because that’s how the world loves. But that’s not how people who are loved by God love. We lay down our lives, like he did, which means we give up our cultural biases and personal preferences.
Now, being culturally sensitive isn’t something that anyone would argue with. Who would ever be opposed to building relationships with people from other cultures? But it’s one thing to support it, and it’s another thing to actually do it. Which leads to the third community-killer:
3. Laziness
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (1 John 3:18)
The biggest killer of community is when we have good intentions that we never follow up on. When we say, “Yeah! .. We need to help the poor. Whoever that is” … “We need to build bridges between cultures. Whatever that means.” … “And by we, I mean all of you. I’m going to kick back at home, and watch my favorite TV shows and eat my favorite food. But I support you in whatever you’re doing!”
John says to that, “No! You can’t just settle for talk. Love is hard work. You’ve gotta be ready to do it!” It was hard work for God to love you; he laid down his glory, and possessions, and time, and personal preferences for you, so when you receive that love, it should be natural that you’ll want to do the same thing for other people.
The Power of True Community
That’s how the love of God is displayed to the watching world. That’s how people know that we are disciples of Jesus, and become intrigued enough to investigate this Jesus for themselves.
If you study the history of the early church, it wasn’t the Jerusalem church that launched a worldwide movement. Not the church full of people who all looked the same, talked the same, and liked the same things. It was the church in Antioch, a radically diverse church.
Look at how that church is introduced in Acts 13: “There were in the church at Antioch prophets and teachers, Barnabas (he’s a Jewish guy from Cyprus), Simeon who was called Niger (which means he’s African), Lucius of Cyrene (he’s from Africa too), Manaen a lifelong friend of Herod the tetrarch (which means he’s a Greek from Palestine), and Saul (another Jewish guy, from Tarsus).
These are all men who laid down their lives — their time, their possessions, and especially their cultural and personal preferences — to radiate God’s love. And the result was that God turned the world upside down through them.
What could God do through our church?