I was a sophomore at a high school church camp. You know, the “write-down-your-sins-and-throw-them-in-the-bonfire-while-singing-hymns-and-accepting-Jesus-for-the-50th-time” high school camp?
Yeah, that one. For many of us there, church camp was the only time that we were actually excited to read our Bibles. So, imagine my reaction when I opened up my Bible at the crack of dawn, expecting God Himself to pop out of the pages and give me a message about my life… and this is what I read:
“Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”
“So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.”
I had unwittingly stumbled upon Romans 9, one of the hardest passages in all of Scripture. Like Luke Skywalker battling Vader in Star Wars: Episode V, I was not ready for what hit me. For my whole life, I had heard that God gives us free will, and we can choose to believe in Him or not. I mean it’s fair, right? How courteous of God, the perfect Gentleman, letting us choose Him or say no, which ever we desire. Right?
Struck with this “problem “of election and God’s sovereignty presented in Romans 9, I did what any good American man would do with a problem:
I ignored it.
I had never heard this passage of the Bible preached, and probably never would ever again. The Romans Road never ran through chapter 9, so maybe it’s expendable. Maybe, like a leaky pipe or a squeaky door hinge, it’s easier to ignore the difficult parts in Scripture, and it can’t hurt that much, right?
Thankfully, God did not let me do that. During the 7 years since that camp, He’s consistently molded and re-shaped the way that I view the difficult parts of Scripture– not through helping me ignore them, or by letting me make the Bible say what I want it to say, but by giving me a heart that is humble towards the Bible and men who have devoted their lives to studying it.
For the past couple of weeks, Justin and Matt have preached out of Romans 9. Given my past difficulties with the chapter, I have to admit that I was a bit nervous! But both sermons were some of the most encouraging sermons I’ve ever listened to.
Ultimately, I’ve come to realize that theology matters, and that it affects worship. I don’t feel like I have to be ashamed about the God I worship. I can love and worship Him more fully when I think correctly about Him! Romans 9 is not a dense, difficult, buzzkill chapter like I thought it was.
It’s a beautiful passage that shows me more of God’s glory and character, and causes me to rejoice that I am a vessel of His mercy, and not judgment. If it were based on my faithfulness to God, I’d be saved one moment and unsaved the very next– but because God chose me, and He is unchanging and unfailing, my salvation is sure and secure! As we sang “In Christ Alone” this week, a song that I had sung 4,837 times before, I was overcome with joy and hope as these words took on new meaning:
“No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand! Until He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!”