In this interview, Ted Tripp says:
We have to have a Biblical work ethic if our marriage is going to be healthy. We can’t rest and relax because marriage is war, and I don’t mean war with the other person. It’s spiritual war. There’s a battle that’s being fought in my heart between the kingdom of self and the kingdom of God, and I’ve got to be willing to get up every day and fight that battle. Secondly, I need to embrace the joy that I’m not alone in that struggle, but God battles on my behalf. He will give me the grace I need to deal with all that I face. (via JT)
This is a radically different perspective than the “God gave me marriage primarily to make me happy” myth we all want to believe. Gary Thomas proposed a similar perspective in his excellent book Sacred Marriage:
We have to rid ourselves of the notion that the difficulties of marriage can be overcome if we simply pray harder or learn a few simple principles. Most of us have discovered that these “simple steps” work only on a superficial level. Why is this? Because there’s a deeper question that needs to be addressed beyond how we can “improve” our marriage: What if God didn’t design marriage to be “easier”? What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place?
What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?