The Paradox of Choice

A few years ago, Barry Schwartzʻ book The Paradox of Choice made an argument that was surprising but at the same time totally logical: the more choices we have, the less happy we are. For example, if we have 900 cable channels to choose from, we can never be sure that we’re watching the best show on, so we end up constantly flipping through the channels to make sure.

Unfortunately, many people instinctively look at their church involvement the same way. Theyʻre never quite sure theyʻve made the right choice, so they constantly “flip the channels” to find the best program on right now, slipping in and out of churches depending on their needs or desires at the moment.

Hereʻs the tension for me: On the one hand, I firmly believe that we always need more new churches because itʻs almost always true that the older and bigger a church gets, the less effective it is at reaching the community around it. But on the other hand, this leads to an increasing number of church choices which gets us into the paradox Schwartz is talking about.

Thatʻs why I really appreciate the perspective of a pastor named Skye Jethani. He was talking to a family who had decided to leave and go to another church because the needs of their teenage kids werenʻt being met at his church…

“What are you going to do when your boys leave home in a few years?” I asked.

“I’m not sure,” said Greg. “Maybe we’ll come back to Blanchard.”

“I hope you don’t,” I replied, meaning no malice. I did, however, relish the stunned look on their faces, if just for a moment. “I hope that you commit yourselves so fully to Faith Community—building strong relationships, serving with your gifts, participating in its mission—that you could never see yourselves leaving that church. I really believe God grows us most when we are committed to a community.”

I like that approach: Make a choice, then stick to it!